Sea of Sadness

Interns are dropping like flies.
Saying "see you later" to 8 friends is exhausting. Especially if you don't know the next time you will see them. Optimistically, I will cross paths with everyone I have made special ties with but realistically, I won't see most of them ever again. In addition to sending people off to their worlds back home, it struck me that it is finally May. Scratch finally. What I meant to say was ...already May. I had a dream a few days ago while sleeping at a backpackers in Noordhoek. The date in my dream was April 30. One of my friends, Doug, approached me saying that I had to leave for the airport right away. I had to pack my bags on the spot, say my goodbyes, and bawl like a baby on the way to the airport. In my head (in the dream) I thought my ticket was actually April 30, when in real life it is May 30. So it was definitely plausible in the dream that I had misread the ticket by a month. When I woke up, I had a deep heavy feeling in my chest because I thought I had to go home that day. That's when it hit me. My conviction. I need to keep making the most of what is here. If anything, I need to make more of it. Time is too short. Days go by slow, but months go by fast. I sit here, my third month into my internship, and it breaks my heart to think that I will have to leave in 3 weeks. If I had it my way, I would stay until fall semester. But Boston and summer school is calling my name, so I gotta run with that. I guess the brighter side of all this sadness is that most of the closest friends that I made here are from school or from the south. Reunions will definitely be possible.

.....

Yet, I am still swimming in my sea of sadness.